After having traveled across the country in a great family adventure to see the Grand Canyon – after flights, on the road trips, carefully planned routes and breathtaking views – I questioned my children about their favorite memory travel.
Was he standing by one of the most impressive Natural wonders in the world? The epic star on the canyon?
No.
Their culmination? Win a plush monkey of the Claw match at the Arcade hotel.
After kilometers of travel, hours of planning and one of the biggest views on earth, the thing they talked about the most It was the moment when they managed to hang a $ 2 plush toy of a grinted machine in a hotel hall.
At first, I couldn’t help but laugh. But then I remembered – it was not the first time that something like it happened.
Several years ago, after another big family trip, this time in Yellowstone, I asked one of my children what was his favorite game. Did he say the geysers? Wildlife? The majestic landscape?
No. His answer? “I learned to whistle.”
I should have known.
Because the truth is that the moments that remain with us are not always the ones we expect.
The myth of “great moments”
As parents, partners, friends and humans in general, we transform into knots by trying to create magical and unforgettable experiences for the people we love. We plan a stored vacation, orchestrate perfect birthdays, and stress to make the feeling of each step significant.
But here is the thing: The meaning is not something that we make – it is something that happens in the small unexpected spaces between the two.
Psychologists refer to this The “peak rule” (Kahneman et al., 1993), who suggests that people do not remember an experience by making the average of all moments, but recalling the culminate moments and the way that finished. The peaks, however, are not always the big ones we expect – they are often the small emotional heights that make a special moment.
Win a plush monkey after 14 unsuccessful attempts? Peak moment.
Learn to whistle while waiting in the car? Peak moment.
We can plan whatever we want, but the moments that really stay with us? They tend to sneak in us.
Why the little things count more than the big
In a culture that constantly pushes us to think bigger,, better,, moreHe can feel counter-intuitive to kiss smaller,, simpler,, ordinary. But research suggests that it is not the exaggerated experiences that bring the most happiness– It’s the small everyday joys.
1. The science of “ordinary magic”
Do a research on Positive psychology and well-being (Lyubomirsky, 2008) shows that happiness is not in experiences once in life, but in significant small moments. Studies suggest that people who actively notice and savor ordinary moments experience long-term well-being than those who run only major milestones.
This is why a random Tuesday evening laughing with a ridiculous joke can be just as special as a meticulously planned celebration. Magic, it turns out that it is not big. It’s about significant.
2. The connection occurs in intermediate moments
The things we remember most are not always linked to what we saw But the way we felt. And a deep emotional connection often occurs in The margins of our experiences– Not necessarily during the big event itself, but in moments of surrounding it.
Think of the most significant conversations you have had. The times you felt closest to someone. The moments which, for any reason, have stayed with you.
There is a good chance that they did not occur in the middle of a perfectly orchestrated experience. They arrived:
- During an unforeseen heart on a long journey.
- On a end of evening snack in the kitchen.
- While fighting to win a ridiculous plush monkey from a claw machine.
ESSESIGNENT readings of the good
These moments are effortless, uncomposed, real. And in their simplicity, they often mean more than the greatest gestures.
3. Pressure to make things “magic” can turn against him
Here is the ironic part: the more we to try To create a perfect magical moment, the more likely we are to stress – and stress is the antidote to joy.
Do a research on anticipated joy (Whatdbach et al., 2010) shows that people often appreciate experiences more When they are spontaneous rather than very planned. When we overcome an experience, we can accidentally extract the very thing that makes it significant: Easy, playful and connection.
Think about it: Have you ever worked so hard to plan the Perfect Dinner or trip that when it happened, you were too exhausted to take advantage of it?
Sometimes the best thing we can do is Let go of the need for great impressive moments and press everything that takes place in front of us.
How to make room for significant small moments
Instead of hunting biggerTry this:
1. Let go of the need to make sense.
Instead of worrying about How to make a special momentconcentrate on be present for moments that are already.
2. Pay attention to joy in the ordinary.
What are the everyday moments that make you smile? Interior jokes, small victories, random bursts of laugh? These are the things you will remember.
3. Loosen your grip on expectations.
Your children may not remember the route, but they will remember how they felt. Your partner may not need a big gesture – just your individual attention. The people you love do not need moreThey need You.
The plush monkey lesson
Would I have guessed that the favorite part of my children of our Grand Canyon trip would be a victory for the claw machine? Absolutely not. But that may be the point.
Maybe the greatest moments in life are not those that we stress to make perfect. They are perhaps those who sneak on us when we are just present enough to notice them.
So here are the stuffed monkeys.
Here is to learn to whistle.
Here are the unexpected little joys that turn out to be real magic.
And here to remember that Sometimes things that matter most are not tall at all.
👑 #MR_HEKA 👑
