Why you feel so lonely on vacation, and what to do about it

Halloween decorations seem to go up earlier every year, don’t they? Practically speaking, as soon as summer is over and kids go back to school, grocery stores start stocking up on candy and putting out plastic skeletons. But for many Americans, these displays are unwelcome because they herald the arrival of the holiday season. They know that once Halloween passes, Thanksgiving will last a few weeks and then lead right into the rush of year-end holidays like Christmas. For many, this series of celebrations will mean happy times with family and friends; For others, it’s a series of burdens. A Survey 2023 The American Psychological Association reports that 89 percent of U.S. adults feel more than that He stressed During the holiday season, a 2020 poll by the National Council on Mental Health reported that 70 percent of Americans feel… A certain degree of loneliness With the holidays approaching. Moreover, more than 10% of us, the survey said, would feel very lonely.

There are five main phenomena that explain this holiday Feeling lonely. First, the expectation of having a good time on Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, or New Year’s Eve may feel more like a job than an opportunity — especially if it highlights the distance you may feel between you and those you love. Holidays can also serve as anniversaries of sorts: times when you most want to be in the company of a significant other, but can’t due to death or breakup, you’re likely to revisit feelings of loss or separation. sadness on those relationships. (The American Bar Association refers to grief and loss It can intensify feelings of loneliness This time of year.) And all of this is happening in the context of a very busy time of year that can burden us with supposedly fun social obligations, even as the weather gets colder, the days get shorter, and the opportunity to spend time outdoors starts to dwindle again.

If you feel an increased sense of duty this time of year, you’re not alone. Films, television, advertisements, and Social media It begins to swirl in an overwhelming chorus of potential happiness And joy, as if you were trying to control everything else you felt every December. Think of the many holiday cards you might get from friends: Don’t their pictures and captions seem to imply that everyone is feeling happy? If your personal reality does not match what you see, you will experience some type of… Cognitive dissonance: Why are they? very happy, You may wonder, If you feel this isolated? Am I the only one? For some people, too, the American vacation machine brings strong feelings about complicated family arrangements. Divorce, alienation, and separation tend to divide people and complicate their traditions, which means that a commercial for a Hallmark holiday movie might conjure up Christmases past — or other holidays — in a way that’s more challenging than cheerful.

Even if you have close family — parents, children, or other relatives you’d like to celebrate with — you may not be able to get together. Living far away from your family and not necessarily having the means to travel freely can mean feeling forced to spend holidays alone. For example, some younger adults move to unfamiliar cities after graduating from college and may not have the resources to visit their family; Likewise, as A Northwestern University The study noted that some older people have lost friends or partners, meaning the holidays can exacerbate pre-existing feelings of isolation.

To be completely objective, holiday stress often intertwines with difficult times for other, more practical reasons as well. Daylight hours are starting to shorten (especially in the northern parts of our country), and noticeably colder weather is prevailing. Going outside may be less fun under these circumstances. Many Americans suffer from seasonal affective disorder as well, and for them, encroaching darkness may exacerbate a bad mood. Most of us feel less like getting out of the house when the weather is cold, which makes spending time with friends more difficult.

The opposite can also be true: Instead of feeling lonely, you may be crushed by social engagements that you’d rather skip. Often times, the holidays bring an unwanted list of stressful extra responsibilities: buying gifts, hosting family members, or traveling during rush hours. Even if you prefer to stay home, your schedule may seem packed with holiday parties that can do a lot of good for you. Alcohol To drink and high-calorie foods to eat. These social pressures can reduce the time you might normally use for self-care, such as exercising, which is a good thing feedingand relax in your favorite diversions. Poll by Wexner Medical Center An Ohio study found that 46% of Americans say they have fewer opportunities to spend time alone during the holidays, even though more than half of Americans believe that kind of alone time is important for their mental health.

If you’re not feeling excited about the holiday season — if you’re feeling trepidation and anxiety instead — please remember that you’re not as alone as you feel. This will help you find ways to connect with others wherever you can; They may share your feelings, and even if not, they may still be happy to hear your voice. As you noticed elsewhereThere is value in what is called “Weak relationships“You’re building a connection with people in your community, so go out of your way to say hello to the people you see every day. Attend a holiday event at work, and chat with a familiar stranger. Even if these people don’t play big roles in your life, there are real, positive feelings of connection that can be gained through putting in the effort. Stick with your self-care regimen as well; as always, exercise can help regulate your mood And your sleep schedule. Wherever possible, watch your nutrition even if you end up indulging in healthy food. Quite a bit at a holiday party. Continue to pursue activities that you enjoy, not just those that the universe seems to be promoting. And if the holidays feel like an unusual burden on you every year — if the loneliness becomes too much — consider reaching out to a professional to talk about how you’re feeling.

Most importantly, realize that your expectations of the holiday season have a lot to do with how you experience it. You don’t need to go to the same parties, adhere to the same traditions, or enjoy the same things as everyone else. Keeping your expectations in check in this way may mean adjusting the way you consume movies, TV, and social media this time of year; It may also mean a deliberate effort to challenge the narrative you hear from popular culture. Try not to compare yourself with others. Instead, even while practicing vigorous self-care, spend more time on the activities that work best for you at any time of year.