When the dreams of motherhood end, but the feelings do not do that

One of the most difficult times on the fertility journey is when you know that your journey should end. Accepting things that were not logical, questions that have not been answered, and the loss of motherhood as you imagined that they are a deep form of sadnessAnd you are a mourning for the future that you think will happen. It is emotionally and complex.

Sometimes, there is a strange mixture of sadness and relief – it is no longer hung in hope, but the landing still seems to be something Fearful. The only thing that is still unchanged is the depth of your longing. This depth is both fast and clear, and it is a measure of your ability to love.

Catch pieces of you

With the deepening of the fertility journey, the concentration and energy on which it is spent directly grows. As a result, the emotional frequency range available for other important areas of life begins in distress. A lot of life is eliminated at the beginning and live in endless courses. FriendshipExercise, and even your closest relationships can fall.

So, when the target moves away, there is an enormous reorganization in how to spend your time, what the first determines, and even how you see yourself. This can be confused at first when you start to appear from the tunnel. But with the passage of time, there is an opportunity to re -call parts of yourself He lies Sleeping or marginalizing.

Initially, it is the small re -communication work that can be more useful. The resumption of some forms of exercise helps you to re -contact your body. Access to an old friend can bring comfort. Simply take one day every time creates space to deal with life with your own conditions. Allowing sadness to flow as needed – and without judgment – opens the door to recovery. Freedom may not feel joy at first, but there is a force not to schedule again.

Abandoning the authentic value based on achievement

Fertility is also associated with achievement in our culture, and the societal novel did not pick up the truth of this experience. You can feel isolation and a sense of failure or missing real, not because you have failed, but because the world’s novel is restricted and homogeneous. It does not give way to the paths that appear different or for real diversity in what maternity and success can mean.

What is missing from this textual program, and the living experience, is the fact that the voltage is not always equal to the result. Bodies are not machines. They are complicated, emotional and subject to countless factors outside our control.

Change how to measure success. The truth is that the process has formed for you. You are not the same as you were before. Even if the journey does not lead to fatherhoodStill appear different: wise, deeper. This experience has expanded your emotional life and has expanded your ability to sympathize. These things are calculated.

The surprising occurrence is that many reporting a new type of relationship. You become more harmonious with the relationships that nourish you and which requires you to shrink. From the journey, you really discover what really matters love, friendship and society. In this way, it comes to redefine what it means to be successful in life. Success is not only related to the results alone, but about the quality of your relationships, your emotional truth and joy that allows yourself to feel. She still succeeds. I learned how to strip the dead wood and walk with just nourish you.

Research confirms that these qualities-emotional growth and strong ties-are founded for long-term health and happiness (Waldinger & Schulz, 2017). Likewise, the metaphor analysis of more than 300,000 people found that strong relationships have increased the possibility of survival by almost 50 percent, adding longevity as smoking as much as smoking. smoking (Holt-Lunstad, Smith, & Layton, 2010).

In other words, the emotional strength that it created through this experience is a basic sign of long -term luxury. Your ability to love deeply, staying present through pain, and communicating with others – even when life does not go as planned – is not meaningful. This is the sign of success.

Live with sadness that is not resolved

Sadness does not move in straight lines, as you know now. feelings Jealousyand Angerand GuiltSadness can appear in most unexpected places and most of the time unexpected. Over time – and at the present time – if sadness is given, it is expressed and expressed, it begins to soften his grip because the feelings that are recognized lose their power to control us. When he meets grief with mercy instead of resistance, it moves through instead of staying stuck. So, allow yourself to feel what you feel, without judgment, is how healing begins.

Life outside the old map

The path is different from what you were contemplating, and accepting that the reality will take some time and self -sympathy. It is an unfair feeling, especially because you still have to work through it. It is a unique type of fatigue. Life continues to ask something from you: continuing your day, appearing and job, to find out the next, all during pregnancy what did not happen.

The old map is no longer suitable. However, there is still a new scene – uncertain and unlimited – carrying meaning and communication. If you find yourself standing on the edge of the unknown, remember to breathe, slow down, and take it one day at one time. It might seem like a cliché, but the day when you are the only one you promised. One day at one time will lead to many. Establish yourself at the present time. There is no impulsion to understand everything, and in time, you will laugh again.

Think about what is still you

Your story is not over. When we strip everything away, we gave us the opportunity to discover what is still true, what is still alive, and what might be ready to return.

These questions are simply food to think. There is no impulsion to respond to them all once – they often arise when the heart and mind are ready to treat them:

1. What are the ways that I have grown emotionally, even if the result of this trip was not that I would not have been that?
2. What does it mean to me to live a full and meaningful life on this new path if it does not seem like the person I imagined?
3. What are the types of relationships that you feel nutritious now, and which you feel retail or are no longer compatible with who has become?
4. Where do I feel more like me now, and how can I spend more time in those places or do these activities?
5. What did you learn about my country? borderMy voice and my needs through this fertility journey?
6. What are the stories of success, value or femininity that I am ready to rewrite or give up?
7. If I no longer build a future about a specific version of paternity, what I want to build instead?

Although sadness has formed your story, it does not get the last word.