What’s next? Navigating life transitions

Judy is unexpectedly fired from her job. Henry just got there absolute. Tara is a proud mother of her new baby. John has just retired of 30+ years Professional life. While our daily lives tend to fall into predictable patterns, life mixes them up from time to time. Like Judy, the unexpected happens, or like Henry, Tara, and John, even though there are no surprises, new, unpredictable challenges can still arise.

Between closing one chapter – the job, marriagethe Singlenessor career – and landing firmly in a new job, comes a transition zone: an emotional gray area between the old and familiar and the new and unknown.

Here are some common reactions and challenges to transitions:

Your identity is shaken

While transformation certainly results in changes in tasks and priorities, it also occurs more often identity. The person you were — an employee, a spouse, a parent, someone focused on your career — is no longer the person you will become, along with your purpose, your goal. ObjectivesFuture visions are unclear. This transition zone can last from a few days – as with a breakup that you’re already glad is over – to several years – as may be the case with switching to a new career, regrouping after a divorce, or Parenting New baby.

You feel anxious

anxiety It is a byproduct of moving into any new emotional territory. Anxiety is always about the future, and if the future is uncertain, anxiety fills the gap. The anxiety may revolve around something specific – Judy’s need to find a job – or something more general – John’s laziness and anxiety.

Your old coping skills aren’t working

In the midst of their transformations, both Judy and John can look back and see that they were workaholics at times, using work as a distraction from other problems in their lives. Likewise, Henry dealt with his difficult marriage by avoiding their problems or accommodating his partner. Now their coping methods are in stark relief, and the challenges of the transition are stretching to the extreme. With the demands and decisions that divorce brings, Henry’s challenge is to step up, stop avoiding, and do more. My confirmation. Judy and John, now unemployed, need to find new ways to get through this transition period.

Unresolved issues and regrets from the past emerge

Judy struggled with her supervisor throughout her tenure, but never addressed it, and now she’s beating herself up for not doing so. The same goes for Henry, who now not only feels angry at the injustices that have been swept under the rug, but also finds himself thinking about past relationships that have gone sour. For John, the loss of his career may stir up buried grief over the death of his brother several years ago. For Tara, a new baby may trigger thoughts of the past Miscarriage Or miscarriage.

When you close a chapter, there is always a feeling of loss at some level, and triggering a loss triggers other previous losses.

So, how do we navigate these unstable waters? Here are some suggestions:

Understand that what you feel is normal

It’s time to give yourself some grace: You’re going through a change in your life, and not only do you need to be kind to yourself but realize that the emotional ups and downs you’re feeling are what comes with this psychological territory. What may happen is normal, even if it is difficult, and will get better as you go through it.

Maintain a positive attitude

Do your best to avoid falling into a woe-is-I-am-the-victim mentality. Instead, try thinking, “I did my best” or “My life is working for me, even if I’m not sure where it will take me.” Try to change your negative story to a more positive one; By changing the story, you change your feelings.

We realize this is an opportunity

For most of us, much of our lives revolve around autopilot, we do what we do because we do it. These transitional areas are actually rare opportunities to start over, to start with a clean slate. Before that window closes, as you settle back into new routines, it’s time to experiment and explore. Your mind and life are flexible now; You are open to new experiences. Take advantage of this time.

Explore and set goals

Taking advantage of this time means exploring, experimenting, and letting go. If you were imagining your new favorite life, what would it look like? How do you feel, act or even dress differently? This is the perfect time to try out these new behaviors and feelings. You may find yourself going full circle – exploring but returning to the same place as before – but it is not the same place as before. Through exploration, you create a different perspective from which you can see your past, present, and future.

A new perspective is what transformations provide. Seize the opportunity.