What to do if you feel besieged

Karl is not happy in his job – it’s boringHe does not like his co -workers in particular, especially his supervisor, and he is a festival – but he has a pension and two children wanting to put him in the kidney. He feels besieged.

Judy, too, feels besieged. Not in a job but in it marriage. She and her husband have few common denominators between a parallel life, and sometimes his life Anger Make it walk on eggshell. But it only works part -time, and she cannot literally leave, and she does not know where she will go.

Sacrifice: stuck at the bottom of a well where you can see the sky but you cannot go out. Feeling easily leads to depressionIt does not matter anything that does not matter. You hate feeling, but you give up.

But it should not be this way. Below are some suggestions out.

I realize that you choose

Unfortunately, there are positions and conditions that you really besieged: you are in prison or live in a war area. But for most of us, and because of Karl existential, the feeling of congestion comes with a basic option that is taken, that is, staying better than leaving. For Carl, the choice may be due to a Fearful Loss of pension or lack of enough money to educate his children. For Judy, the choice may be due to a feeling of exhaustion-and not to know how to start or what to do, imagine the worst scenarios such as living in the street or her husband is somehow divided.

Saying that this is not to reduce the feelings of Karl or Judy or how difficult the challenges and change the path. However, realizing that you are choosing, and that you have a role in shaping your position – simply because the well -known feels less immersive – can help you feel the negative victim of your circumstances, and may open you to other options.

Check yourself in the future

How can Carle, Judy, or imagine you feel 10 or 20 years from now if nothing changes? Karl may actually look back and feel proud because he had a persistent commitment to it, or that he lived his values ​​even if he had to sacrifice a little for his family. Judy, on the other hand, you may look back and feel that her life is lost, or you may feel sorry that you left fear dictating the course of your life and regretting the lack of courage to act. Although you cannot predict or control the future, by looking forward and imagining the emotional consequences to stay in its position, you can clarify your priorities and incentivize.

Explore

The antidote to the besieged feeling and the depression it creates is to work – you need to try to get out of the well. This does not mean that Karl has stopped his job tomorrow or takes Judy the first bus outside the city. Instead, it comes to doing something, and exploration is a good place to start: Carl may discuss the changing duties or supervisor, or look at the functions available in its field; Judy may search for full -time work to save money, or consult with a lawyer about Divorce practical.

It comes to collecting valuable information, but most importantly, it comes to examining reality – discovering that what you imagined may not really happen.

Get support

There is a concept tendency in such situations to keep your struggle for yourself: Karl does not discuss his job with his wife for fear of worrying; Judy has already been with friends because she is a natural person or embarrassed. But going alone is difficult. Look for support in your community: Judy, for example, talks with employees in local women’s shelter or legal assistance, not only to explore services, but also to realize that assistance is already available. Communicate with a friend or family member, or find a consultant – at least one closer air – can reduce your burden and reduce anxiety.

Entering the unknown is always frightening, and always represents a challenge, but staying in your place, and resigning from yourself, is often the burden and the greatest challenge. So, what is your work summary for work? Are you ready to take small steps towards a different / better life?

If not now, when?

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