There is a word for the loneliness you feel right now

your Friendship Expert, The core of my beliefs is that people are fundamentally good, and that we all want the best for each other. It has been difficult to reconcile these beliefs with what is happening in the world today: political extremism, war, chaos, scapegoating, and more.

When I came across the term “presence”. Feeling lonely“It helped me understand what I was feeling. Feeling of existential loneliness It is when we feel that we are the only ones who experience the world in a certain way. Fyodor Dostoyevsky described it aptly in Notes from underground When he said: “I am alone… and they are everyone.” With the US government doing things that are in stark contrast to many of our core values, it is easy to feel alone in our sense of reality.

This is why existential loneliness is so harmful. This is known as a “deeper form of unity” of the garden variety, where the participant is in a form of unity He studies Observing: “Existential loneliness feels like I am alone in a void that only I can see and feel, and which does not exist or matter to others, but non-existential loneliness makes me feel sad.” (p. 151, 18 years old, sex– liquid). Another study described this as feeling like “A prisoner of his mind“.

We can feel connected to others and still feel existentially alone. Take, for example, a veteran who returns home to old friends who he loves, but who will never understand his experiences on the battlefield. Or take a gay man at his heterosexual friends’ wedding who keeps hearing about it marriage It is intended for the man and the wife. Sure, he may love his friends and feel connected to them, but that won’t prevent him from feeling existentially lonely. (In fact, people from marginalized groups are more likely to feel existentially lonely, according to one person He studies.)

Research has found that existential loneliness affects us in a unique way than ordinary loneliness. While regular loneliness is related to the need to find belonging, so is existential loneliness noWhich suggests that people who experience existential loneliness may feel more resigned to their situation. This willingness to withdraw from others may also explain why more We are existentially alone, the less so sympatheticequality, and sectarian (It is defined as trust, compassion, Altruismand loyalty) we. Existential loneliness also amplifies the negative impact of regular loneliness. Loneliness is over strongly Related depression For those who feel existentially lonely too.

If you suffer from existential loneliness, here are some ways to deal with it:

1. Realize that it’s not bad to be existentially alone. Every bit of social progress has been stimulated by a group that was in the minority. Martin Luther King Jr. once said:

“But I must say frankly that there are some things in our nation and the world to which I feel proud to be maladjusted and I wish all men of good will to be maladjusted so that a good society might be achieved.

I never intend to set myself up for dismissal and discrimination. I never intend to accommodate religious fanaticism. I never intend to adapt myself to economic conditions that will take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few, leaving millions of people suffocating in a tight cage of poverty in the middle of an affluent society. I never intend to adapt to the madness of militarism and the devastating effects of physical violence…

We need unadjusted men and women regarding these problems.

2. Do something nice for others. As mentioned, the more existentially lonely we feel, the more we withdraw from others, making us more existentially lonely. Try volunteering or doing a random act of kindness for someone else. Better yet, you can volunteer with a group that emphasizes your most important values. If you feel lonely as a gay person in a predominantly heterosexual environment, you could volunteer with a group that supports gay youth, for example.
3. Talk to people who He does Share your sense of reality. There is value in connecting with people who are different from you, but there is also value in connecting with people who see the world like you. When people He was In an online conversation with a stranger (see Study 3), the more they interpreted a similarly ambiguous image (“Is that guy in the hood talking to the guy with the pipe because they are friends or enemies?”), the more they clicked on the photo, felt closer to it, and wanted to see each other again. But this shared sense of reality fulfilled a deeper need for the participants: it provided something called “cognitive value.” It helped participants trust their own convictions and sense of reality.