The type of manager who will pressure you and then defend you to the death | By Elia Ajala | October 2025

There’s a certain type of boss I look up to, and he’s probably not the one you’re imagining. Forget the “servant leader” jargon and the “let’s hold hands and sing kumbaya” ethos. I’m talking about those who will pressure you. People who will push you past what you thought was the limit and then demand you find other gear.

I love a boss who will bring you down.

Do you know this feeling? The state where you’re staring at a deadline or a problem and honestly think, “That’s impossible. They’re asking too much.” Yes, that’s the feeling. Because nine times out of ten, when you’re pressured by someone who really knows what they’re doing, you don’t break, you learn to fly with heavier wings.

But this is the critical and non-negotiable part. The caveat that makes this whole dynamic work: they have to be the only person allowed to do it.

Press on, my people

The leader I want to be is the one who applies pressure because they have a non-negotiable standard of quality and execution. You will work hard. You will be held accountable. I will demand your best work, not your second best, and I will be the first person to call you out if you slack off.

I will make you work until you are tired.

But when that work is done, or when the inevitable politics of a large organization begin to turn, you’d better believe my priorities shift. Because once you’re on my team, you’re my team.

I want to be the leader that when you walk out of a meeting, you may breathe a sigh of relief that you survived my string of questions, but you have no doubt about one thing: I have your back.

​The unshakable shield

I had a boss, let’s call her “The Shield”. She is the person who embodied this perfectly. She will work us to the bone. We dreaded her project updates because we knew she would find the one weak link, the one corner we tried to cut, and dig deeper until we fixed it. It was frankly terrifying.

But do you know what? No one, and I mean no one, was born good enough to talk trash about us in front of her.

If you were on her team, she was your fiercest representative. She would stand up to any CEO, client, or competing department and defend our efforts, our work, and our value like a mama bear. If something went wrong, she dealt with it internally, with us, the people who actually did the work. You never throw anyone under the bus to save face.

When is it time for ratings and reviews? She always, always, always showed up. She had the receipts, she had the context, and she fought for every promotion, every bonus, and every opportunity for her employees because she witnessed first-hand the sweat we put in. She knew our value because she was the one who demanded it.

The trade-off: trust

The reason this type of leadership works is that it creates a radical type of mutual trust.

My agreement with you: I will demand the impossible. I won’t tease you. I will push you to be better than you think.

Your treatment of me: In return, I will ensure that the only stress you experience comes from the work and the expectations I set. You don’t have to worry about petty politics, backstabbing, or lack of recognition. I will be your shield, your defender, and your hammer when you need leverage.

I want my team to know that when I apply pressure, it doesn’t mean I break them; It’s to prove their strength so I can better defend them.

I don’t want to be the “nice” boss. I want to be an effective boss. The one you complain about for drinking because of your workload, but you mentioned her name in your retirement speech because she’s the one who made you who you are. The person who was a terror in the war room, but was a general on the battlefield of your career.

This is the leader I want to be. I want to be the shield.

What do you think is the biggest risk in adopting a “tough love with protection” leadership style?