The immeasurable weight of child sexual abuse

Sexual assault Experienced in childhood The child does not always remember it consciously, but like uranium, it lives forever. It’s a topic of great importance, but as we see in the Menendez and Epstein cases, it’s very difficult to talk about. The painful realities of its victims’ experiences are pushed far from the center of attention, commonly referred to, but rarely emphasized in public or legal discourse.

Sexual abuse affects every part of the child

All types of childhood abuse are harmful and confusing to their victims. Recovering from the wounds and doubts caused by physical abuse, Emotional abuseSevere neglect takes years, if not a lifetime. sexual Abuse assaults a person in a very specific way, causing specific additional damage, while also carrying with it aspects of physical and emotional abuse.

When a child’s body is used for sexual purposes, the impact goes beyond what happened physically. The effects and consequences are not limited by our narrow notions of sexual acts, but rather flow into and through that child. Every part of the experience – neurological, psychological, cognitive – reaches every part of the child, yet the child has little ability to understand or organize what is happening and no known language or context in which to place these experiences.

How children try to cope with sexual abuse

Children must find a way to manage these indigestible experiences—to push them out of awareness or create a category to put them into. When an abuser is part of their daily lives, most children will identify the “bad” in themselves rather than seeing the person they need and depend on as a bad and unsafe person. This would make their world seem very dangerous. Very young children may not be able to distinguish that what is happening to them is different from being a part of them.

Sexual assault leads to permanent shame And doubts about what happened, what is real, what it means for the offender and himself, and what the future holds. A young woman I interviewed for my upcoming book, Before Their Crimes: What We Misunderstand About Childhood shockyouths crimeAnd the path to healing, He said it this way:

“I was sexually molested at a young age (5 years old), but I didn’t tell it because that person told me it would hurt my family if I told anyone. Part of me felt like it was wrong because we were always hiding when he was doing it… I felt disgusted in myself because I felt like I let it happen… Even though people tell you that you didn’t do anything, something must have happened to you, there’s always a little voice in your head that says That you could have done something. I think that’s a big part of the reason I grew up to be such a difficult kid and ended up with it Nursery care “And the juvenile justice system and drug abuse.”

Risk of revictimization

Child sexual abuse distorts the development of a sense of self and trust in others. Those who have experienced this are more likely to be victimized again. They may lack adult protection; They may not consider themselves valuable and deserving of protection; Perhaps they believe that this is their fate; They may not be able to evaluate the trustworthiness of others.

Healing from child sexual abuse

Victims of child sexual abuse cannot be expected to achieve healing on their own. Early attacks on the self disrupt the development of the capacities that make self-soothing and healing possible. When you feel devalued and hurt, and when you believe you may be the source of the traumatic experience, you need to understand and care for others with a different perspective to help you understand what happened to you.

It is the greatest and saddest irony that child sexual abuse shames the victim rather than the perpetrator. Perhaps it is our shame that we fail to protect child victims that makes us look away from the harm resulting from these experiences, and focus on holding the aggressors responsible for their actions, but we fail to realize the breadth, depth, and longevity of the impact of those actions.