Teen in a serious relationship and heading to the college

Teenager It is the time of transformations, the start of the kidney is a large one. If your teenager is in a serious relationship, it may reduce the excitement of anxiety: Should I stay with my partner? If we’ll be in different places, how can I keep the relationship to go a long distance? How can we no Stay together when we can turn or message to each other at any time of the day, regardless of the extent to which we are?

Teen years are a time to determine the priorities of “what you become” on loyalty to a relationship, Psychologist and author Daniel J. He will write. Young people should be able to follow Goals On their own. If the relationship is supposed to succeed, it will be so. This is one of the reasons why going to college is the point of collapse for young couples.

Parents often adhere to the idea that the college should be a time for new academic and social opportunities, free from high school relationships. I also discovered in my in -depth interviews with adolescents First love: directing teenagers through relationships and sorrowThis ideal may collide with the fact that when you are in love, ending the relationship is great. Many young couples will try to stick to after high school.

Here are tips to help the teenager in your life, which is struggling to determine whether the high school relationship should be maintained during college.

• Encourage teenagers to think about how to influence together on the kidney experience. The young people who met them who kept their high school relations during the college talked about feeling the mood between their commitment to their partners and their presence in their daily lives, especially when the distance participates. “You cannot be in two places at the same time,” said Christine, who went to the college in the Middle West while her boyfriend remained in his hometown in Oregon. “I will have to make options not to accommodate my friends so that I can make a video call with him.” Research shows The effort to maintain the relationship can pull well.
• Decipher Social media In the decision. The separation is not easy. It is especially painful in the social media era, when young people always have a window in each other’s life. Ending the relationship means competing with the bite of images, videos and comments that show that your partner is moving without you – and the constant temptation to reconnect with a text. Talk to your teenage son Nature addiction to technologyWhether it may compete with realistic experiences on the campus, and whether it maintains their association with the relationship of the past.
• Remember that feelings do not follow school calendars. Young people may not be simply ready to give up the time when the college begins. They may feel that they need to support the partner while moving into university life. The couple may decide to separate before directing beginners, only to find themselves in the arms of each other during the on Thanksgiving break. Even if you think you know what your child should do, avoid judging data like “you really need to start the kidney.” Instead, focus on their feeling about the relationship and all changes on the horizon.
• to treat Fearful The unknown. Introverted or anxiety Adolescents may cling to high school as a shelter of new environment challenges. Discuss with them strategies to deal with a very stimulating, and possibly overwhelming environment. Many colleges have guidance resources targeting students who are socially struggling. Encourage your child to try low -density ways to communicate with other students, such as plate games and drafting activities, and searching for activities that have always brought them. They may be able to enjoy first -year students who enjoy the same things.
• Allow the possibility of staying together. Many of the young couples I met with my book adhered to it during the college. Some are married now! What distinguishes couples with happiness is their commitment to the personal growth of each other. They have become a fan of each other, encouraged academic achievement, social relations outside the relationship, and new experiences. If your teenager decides to remain associated, check from time to time about whether his relationship supports the prosperity of each partner. Richard Weissbord, a psychological scientist and a lecturer at the Faculty of Graduate Studies at Harvard University educationThe question of your teenage son suggests: Do your partner expand your sense of or reduce your feeling? Does your partner make you feel more to present to the world or less?
• Check the health of your teenage son’s pain. If your teenager decides to end the relationship, sadness It is real, even during the transmission of an important life. If the teenager will try a long -term relationship, the feelings of loss and longing may remain the first days, weeks, or even months of college. Parents often try to reduce their children’s pain through comments such as “once you start interviewing new people, you will forget that” or “Do not let the separation destroy the first semester.” This can cause teenagers to feel stumbling and confused if they cannot move forward quickly. Alexandra Solomon, clinical psychologist, and professor of North Westren University, emphasizes that we must confirm painful feelings as real and important. This approach can coexist while encouraging adolescents to create friendships, explore curricula and interact with courses.