Socially described and the wrong self

Socially described perfection and closely satisfy people, both depend on the intense Fearful From rejection and exclusion. The socially described perfection is the feeling that the important others seek perfection from you in important areas. Then this person accommodates these demands, meaning that they become an important part of the individual’s habits and self -associated expectations. On the other hand, the satisfaction of people is the tendency to put an individual’s initial desires and needs to the side because they were chronicly replaced by the desire to scream to agree to it.

since Perfection The struggle with self -acceptance, they tend to fluctuate between the perfection imposed on the self, and the strong belief that their criteria for themselves are justified, and its counterpart, the socially described version. Much of this is related to the search for the situation, not only the desire to reconcile but the desire to agree with some of the elite group. Because of the black and white thinking, perfection often divides people into the winners and losers, and they want to become the previous one, of course. Therefore, no matter how funny or naturally, it is not related at best and harmful in the worst case if one does not help in developing approval and/or admiration.

Competitive families often contribute to developing what Psychoanalyst DW Winnicott was described as “Self Self”, often created in a large part to serve the general image of a specific tribe. The basic message is: You are your contributions to our reputation and legacy. To perfection, the best in any field is closely related to the belief that being the best is the catalyst for the final form of emotional, physical and financial security, which is the primary goal of perfection – a life that lacks pain and full of pleasure. Therefore, while some perfection completely buy the belief that the pursuit of greatness in the form of perfection is the only way to live with meaning, others only follow it to agree to it. Fortunately, this version of perfection may be more open to the review because the individual here, at least partially, is already convinced that the demands that have been placed on them are not largely, unwanted.

Since each of us is often placed in a position in which we should choose between competing values, living with contradiction appears to be the rule, although it is not desirable. Perfection tends to struggle with contradiction. They are very interested in integrity and restrictions. In addition, they are deeply struggled with loss of loss. One can imagine that losing his place in some hierarchical sequence may feel very painful for this person, who may in turn wander whether the loss is “correct”. Returning to black and white thinking, perfection often imagines a good option and others as bad, and thus lose the precedents concerned.

However, in treatment, it is required to consider it. For a very exorbitant self -price. You may ask yourself if your fear of loss is unreasonable. Can’t you survive and even flourish without your social position? Were you not satisfied in the long run if your tribe abandoned you because of its desire to become your own person? Is it equally happy, if not more, with a group I appreciate you as you are? Although chasing success tends to be associated with more than emotional highlands, they are also associated with more emotional levels, because we often fail in our endeavors and our performance. In some groups, errors are amplified as others force the lights to others. This individual lives in an environment where security is guaranteed only, and it is paradoxes, if one can constantly maintain what they admit that it is unreasonable criteria – which means a chronic condition anxiety.

On the other hand, the environment that agrees to the differences tends to be positively related to more Emotional stabilityReducing altitudes and decline, instead enhancing satisfaction. But for many perfection, contentment is not enough. Therefore, one can question the pursuit of security, and ask themselves if this is a great illusion. When security and Self -respect You feel as if they are all or nothing, you can easily get rid of satisfaction as an inferior country. However, reducing the value of that it is often unreasonable. In addition to emotional stability, satisfaction brings with it daily pleasures, including being loved by the values ​​of the individual and his privacy, and freedom from tremendous terrorism of losing the individual’s place in arranging attackers, and the feeling that an individual’s life can be meaningful in a way that others not only determines.

He wrote, returning to Winkot, “The most aggressive words and thus the most dangerous languages ​​of the world are what can be found in confirmation. It can be said, that the interconnected and dependent person becomes himself, he can remain far from others while also contributing to everyone in a unique but meaningful way, which is the point of life. Therefore, we may owe ourselves to embrace it, and provide ourselves with the opportunity to fully live.