Practical tips for dealing with job criticism

Earlier this month, I happened across condition On CNBC she describes how Julia Roberts learned to deal with it Professional life cash.

The topic immediately interested me. On the one hand, it was strange that one of the most successful movie stars on the planet would be subject to criticism. On the other hand, it is not at all surprising that a sensitive young woman working in a very difficult job would have emotional challenges that she had to learn to deal with.

Being insecure, as Roberts described herself early in her career, criticism could be “crippling” for her. I threw her off her game. “If someone embarrassed me, he would stop me,” she said. “I was having a stroke.”

But Roberts also intuitively understood that Hollywood “is not an industry to be in if you can’t take criticism.”

So I made a conscious and considered decision.

Rather than being upset by the criticism, she became determined to see it as “an interesting challenge for me to determine what kind of person I want to strive to be.”

It is not an executive material

This story resonated with me, because it was a great example of a resilient, non-defensive response from someone who overcame emotional challenges to succeed (strongly) in his chosen field.

On a more modest scale, her recollections reminded me of the criticism I received early in my career, and the way it affected me.

I was doing my annual performance review. My boss was a no-nonsense, self-made CEO, and I had great respect for him. When we discussed my future, as I told it Type B managerShe admitted I did a good job, but added:

“I don’t know about you. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but you don’t look like a manager. You just don’t look like executive material,” she said.

“Why,” I replied, “what exactly makes you say that?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, “you seem to be too quiet, too soft-spoken, too quiet—and not trustworthy enough.”

Behaviors that must be controlled

That conversation took place more than three decades ago, but I still remember it well. I was working at a powerful, traditional, hierarchical life insurance company that was more than a century old, and I realized that if I hoped to succeed in management, which I wanted, there were things about myself that I had to change, or at least adjust.

On some level I was me, and emotional DNA It won’t change – but there is He was Elements of my managerial behavior that I can modify.

While there are certainly less intense benefits command I realized I needed to become more reliable, even if I didn’t particularly want to. I realized, for example, that I had to hold people to higher standards, and make sure there were consequences when those standards were not met.

Over time, I gradually became more comfortable with this character, and although I undoubtedly made a lot of mistakes (I joke that I made so many mistakes that I can’t remember the first few hundred), they kept me in management for the next 24 years, so I must have done some things right.

Flexible listening

But the moral of this story is not about me or Julia Roberts.

It’s about to Resilience In dealing with criticism.

It’s about not getting defensive and instead listening carefully when people tell you things you may not want to hear.

Because it’s easy, as Roberts puts it, to be “apoplectic” when you feel like you’re being attacked.

Of course, not all professional criticism you receive is true. But some of it may be. So it is important to think clearly about this matter, and separate the wheat from the chaff.

And use them, to paraphrase the esteemed Mrs. Roberts, to help you become the person you strive to be.