A friend who lives in a war zone. It is no longer chasing prominent landmarks such as: ideal function, perfect life. What matters to her is this moment.

Why do we find peace in chaos, but insomnia in calm?

I was thinking about this personally, emotionally, scientifically and socially. I think it is about this: in the crisis, we go home for ourselves. In stability, we try to surpass ourselves.

Psychiatrist Victor Frankl, who survived the Holocaust, wrote in “a man’s search for meaning” that even in suffering, we can discover the purpose. The crisis forces us to choose what matters. For my friend, the war revealed that staying alive is really present. It is more valuable than any external success.

From a social perspective, crises disrupt the social structures that constitute our rules, roles and expectations imposed by society. In stable times, we are social to determine the priorities of achievement, situation and goals directed in the future, often at the expense of the present. But in the war area, these structures collapse. Community pressure reduces the “performance” of success, and individuals re -communicate with fundamental values such as survival, relationships and meaning. This is in line with the concept of Emil Durkheim from anomalies “collapse of social standards” where, it is paradoxes, that the absence of societal expectations can enhance a deeper feeling.

There is a term in psychology for this transformation: “post -shock growth”. It describes how shock can lead to unexpected positive changes, such as the greatest gratitude, deepest relationships and more severe priorities. A 2018 study found that people who live in conflict areas often report an increase in appreciation of life. When every day is uncertain, every moment becomes sacred.

The brain is to survive. We wireless scanning at the risk of the survival mechanism rooted in our evolutionary past. In quiet times, when real threats are rare, the brain penetrates problems: “Am I successful enough? Attractive enough? Press enough?”

But in war or crisis, the risk is real. The brain restores focus. The rewards system (hello, dopamine) repeat the calibration. Suddenly, a quiet breakfast or a roof over your head feels like a luxury.

Nervous psychologist Rick Hanson is called “solid happiness”. Under a threat, we stop chasing the future and start taste now.

Socially, this shift reflects how external conditions are and our eyes. In stable societies, capitalist structures often push the culture of permanent consumption to pursue and feed the need for “keeping up”. But in the crisis, these cultural textual programs lose their grip. The bad mind of my friend, who is born of survival, goes beyond the societal pressure to achieve and instead embrace the immediate existence.

Why calm feels empty at times. It is strange. We must make us feel safe. Instead, anxiety is often generated.

This is because, in stable environments, our brain stimulates “negative bias” and slides into “comparison mode”. We send social media. We compare ourselves to others. We want more. Forget what we already have.

This explains the social comparison theory, which was developed by sociologist Lyon Vestin, this: Humans evaluate their value by comparing themselves to others. In modern societies, the media and cultural novels inflame this trend, creating a cycle of dissatisfaction. We are conditional on measuring our lives against coordinated ideals: wealth, beauty and success that loses contact with our rhythm.

In contrast, when the world collapses, there is no time to demonstrate. You drop the mask. Stop running. Feel everything. From the social lens, this raw originality appears because the crises start from the social texts that dictate how to live. Without clicking on compatibility, we reconnect ourselves.

Graduation and taste of taste. In maximum situations, gratitude is almost instinctively a lifeline, not just a practice. Studies indicate that gratitude can increase luxury by more than 25 %, and that the mind can completely reduce stress, even in harsh environments.

Socially, gratitude can be considered a form of resistance against consumer cultures that give priority to the acquisition of appreciation. In war zones or crises, where material resources are rare, we are gratitude to unforgettable wealth – relationships, presence, survival.

My friend’s gratitude does not cultivate through the daily; He is forged in the crucible to survive.

Why do we struggle to appreciate life when things are calm? In stable times, our attention is dispersed due to societal pressures and our brain tendency to search for threats or disability. But in crises, an immediate fragility of life forces us to abandon these deviations and embrace what really matters. The wisdom of my friend who lives today, and not tomorrow a lesson for all of us: Do not have happiness to become another person, but with our gratitude.

I send you a lot of love.

Thank you for reading.

References:

Franklk, in (1946). The man searched for meaning. Manara Press. Tedeschi, RG, & Calhoun, LG (2018).

Post -shock growth: conceptual foundations and experimental evidence.

Psychological shock: theory, research, practice and politics. Hanson, R. (2013). Solid happiness.

Harmony Books. Friedrikson, BL, and others. (2015). Positive feelings in adversity: an expansion and constructive perspective.

Positive Psychology Magazine. Festinger, L. (1954).

Social comparison theory. Human relations. HARB, C., et al. (2020).

Materialism and well -being in conflict areas. Nature Communications. Emmons, Ra, & McCullough, Me (2003).

Counting blessings for burdens: an experimental achievement of gratitude and self -luxury. Personality Magazine and Social Psychology. Shankland, R., & André, C. (2019).

Mention and psychological well -being in high pressure environments. Borders in psychology.