How do you love well for a long time

Our quality in love and life depends on our conditional responses on pain, distress and discomfort, and whether we blame, deny, avoid, or try to improve and grow.

blame, denialAnd avoiding attempts to hide weakness. Sleeping and kindness makes us less vulnerable.

Better than hiding weakness in arguments, better than blame, denial, and avoiding, is to share our basic emotions –Fearfuland shameSadness, sadness. Participation brings us together; He hides us pushing us.

Contact communication

Emotional compatibility is more important to keep contact with the words we use. Emotional behavior –Body languageFacial expressions, eye contact, and sound tone – is the primary position of connectivity in love. Effective communication is the connection function-about each other’s luxury. When the partners feel contact, they communicate well. Contact techniques can help you feel hearing but not connected.

Relationships in long -term relationships are a mental and choice. We choose to feel contact and choose to feel separate. We can feel contact when our partners are far away, and we can feel separate when they sit next to us. Life is better and problems are easily overcome when we choose to feel connected.

Love Mirror

Love is a mirror of the inner self. What we learn about ourselves in love we cannot learn in any other way. We cannot completely know ourselves without facing love.

the Love Mirror It changes as soon as we start living together. When falling in love, it shows the generosity, open, flexible, emotional, funny, creative, thoughtful, and interested we can be. After a year or so to live together, the love mirror shows how we can become trivial, rigid, defensive, nervous, or tampering.

Love in the routine

Unless our partners intentionally appear to be important to us, routine living will make them believe they are not.

Routine living makes us vulnerable to the use of our partners to avoid feeling weak feelings. When we try to avoid feeling anxietyWe come Control. When we try to avoid shame, it seems that we refuse or violent. We are likely to be computers, defensive, or contempt when trying to avoid fear or shame.

In the routine, the ego tends to win love. There are four people in a committed relationship – partners and their vanity. The partners are interested in each other, support and appreciate each other, and they are sympathetic in times of distress, and of the same just because of its pleasure.

Her arrogance is obsessed with itself, which bears its name, control, easily insulting, and fast.

Jobs, the ego is how we prefer to consider ourselves and how we want others to consider us. Nasr that our partners and children look at us – and our behavior towards us – in ways to spin our arrogance.

The ego blocks the effects of our behavior on our loved ones and makes their negative reactions to us appear to be unjustified attacks.

Great vanity defensive and dialectic at any cost; The truth is often a victim of defending the ego. At best, it appears to stand out. In the worst case, it looks offensive.

It is easier for the sentences to fit more through the needle of the needle than the big ego to fit a good relationship.

The way out

We are more likely to realize when our partners offer the ANI’s defense instead of realizing it when we do so. Only a small slice of frontal lobe shell can analyze our behavior objectively, which is outside the line during emotional excitement. In ego conflicts, you may feel like a victim, but you will seem uncomfortable, mean, or aggressive.

To shed light on these blind spots – and escape from the INA prison – we must usually develop the use of our partners ’reactions to demonstrate how we come to them.

We must realize that when our partners behave from insult, defense or outstanding, they often feel criticism, harm, insufficient or isolation. This can reduce the motivation to defend our arrogance and increase the possibility of a more positive response than our partners.

Every morning, take a minute or so to communicate with the loving partner and the father you are – the partner who nurtures naturally, emotion, and kind, appreciates your loved ones and wants to be fine.

Replace the defense of the ego blame, denial, and avoiding with the responses of the loving partner to improvement, appreciation, communication and protection. With practice, there will be only two people in your relationship: two loving partners.

The ego is another way to hide weak feelings. Instead of avoiding them, we must organize weak feelings by changing the meaning we offer them. We must tolerate the feeling of long enough enough to use it to learn how to love better. The solutions lie in examining what we are afraid of and what we are ashamed of. If we follow incentivize Fear and shame to support emotional bonds, we will love well for a long time.