How can the temple help in the border personality disorder

People with the border Personal disorder It is often difficult to create an organized adult container for their lives. Instead of developing and adhering to a daily schedule for repeated events – such as going to bed in a reasonable time forbidden when they should wake up in the morning – they tend to give priority for any good feeling at the present time.

For example, my client Sarah told me at her session that she needed to sleep early because she is holding an important meeting the next day. But the next session discovered that she did not reach the meeting because she felt that Lonely I went to a bar looking for love. She settled for a night full of drugs Sex. She woke up late and decided to skip the work because she had already missed the meeting. The promise of love was more important to her than the possibility of losing her job.

The lack of the border structure and its focus on love can be hindered pathway

James F. Masterson (1926-2010), the expert known at the border a personality The disorder and the author of many books on this topic used to say that the worst thing could happen in the treatment of someone who has BPD if they fell in love. All the progress of the treatment will stop because everything they want to think about is the new love story of their new love, and they have not yet developed enough self -discipline to stay focusing on anything less fun (1976).

Note: I use the border modifications, BPD, and border adaptations as a shortcut to people who qualify for a complete diagnosis of border personality disorder.

Border agents need less than spontaneity and more structure

While some other treatment customers need to become more comfortable with spontaneity, the opposite applies to many of my customers in the border line. They often live like young people teenager. they StallShe is having difficulty preserving motives to finish things, and living a very unorganized and driven life designed to preserve painful feelings in the Gulf.

The lack of mirrors of the external structure is that there is no internal structure

Their lack of the exterior often reflects their need for a larger internal structure. And their lack of internal structure makes it difficult for them to create a stable external structure suitable for healthy adults.

What do I mean by this? Most adults create a set of basic rules about the things they do every day – such as choosing a regular sleep time and what they eat breakfast so that they do not have to waste time and energy to make the same decisions every day.

But my client with BPD often feel tired of the idea of ​​organizing their lives and adhering to a regular schedule. Painful feelings begin on the surface when people with self -activation bpd. To stop the pain, they stop moving forward and return to that, as they treated before when I felt unbearable emotions. As a result, my clients in the border line often develop sleep or eating disorders, different types of addiction, and the use of sex to obtain companionship.

Masterson described this style “The Trinity of the border line”. It consists of one step forward, then negative feelings begin on the surface, followed by a step to the use of an old, incomplete defense that makes them feel temporarily improvement but wraps their progress (1976).

Living is a more organized life that calms down for people who suffer from BPD

Before customers with adjustments to the border with the root of their problems can need more tools to work with their feelings in a productive manner and daily structure in their strong place enough that does not come out through every small crisis. DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) is often a good place to start learning the necessary tools (MCKAY ET Al., 2019).

Once they get these tools, deeper and directed towards insight Psychotherapy It aims to heal BPD has a better chance of success, such as the approach to the relationships shown in James F Masterson books.

By adding an external structure, they build more internal structure by repeating the same patterns daily. The same repetition tends to calm, not excitement. recently, Nervous Networks are formed in the brain and fire again and again. When that happens, it did not require a lot of thinking in the past and Will It now happens automatically. Repetition creates nervous networks, and as soon as they are in place, the mental and emotional energy they provide to other projects (Edelman, 1987) can be used.

How to help yourself

If you realize yourself in the description above, here are some of the steps that you can take to improve your life by creating a structure.

Step 1: Make a menu. Make a list of three things that will add a healthy structure to your life.

Step 2: Choose the focus. Just choose to start working immediately.

Step 3: Be realistic. Choose something you can actually see.

Step 4: incentivize. Before you start, write how this will improve your life. Read this whenever you attach your motives.

Step 5: Start now. Start doing the new behavior as well as as possible.

Step 6: Keep starting again. Some failure or retreat is inevitable. Just start again and leave yourself on his back to do this.

When you successfully implement your first improvement from your list, choose another. Note how much your new successes make you feel about yourself.

What if you don’t have an idea of ​​what you choose?

Here are some areas of life in which adults deals every day. I am included in some of the basics below to start.

Sleeping: Choose a regular daily time to go to sleep and wake up. Plan about eight hours of sleep. Most people need up to an hour and a half to sleep to sleep. This translates into turning off the TV and leaving the mobile phone, computer, or anything else incentive. Reading and listening to sedative music is usually a good way to relax and prepare to sleep.

If you find annoying thoughts, download a contemplation An application like “Insight Timer” on your mobile phone, put your earphones, and go to sleep to listen to a calming -standing meditation.

eater: Learn something about good feeding And planning simple and healthy healthy meals you can make at home. If you eat a lot, specify the changes you want to make in what you ask.

If you have an eating disorder, it may include part of building a new relationship with food Disturbed.

Exercise: If you are not practicing, take a reasonable and realistic plan to do so. Be realistic and choose something you like you can adhere to. You can start with less than 10 minutes a day.

health care: Make the appointments of the doctor and the dentist you have postponed. A sudden number of my clients with BPD does not see a doctor or dentist unless they have a painful emergency.

Financial Affairs: Do a budget, live within the limits of your capabilities, and start saving Retirement. Do not take the expenses that you cannot bear.

summary

If you are fighting from problems in the border line and facing a problem in meeting the normal demands of adults, you are likely to benefit by adding the ability to predict and external structure to your daily life. A chaotic life makes people feel more emotionally chaotic. While working to implement changes and start feeling more stability Self -respect It is likely to be restructured in a positive way as well.

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