Help is other people: The power of social connectedness

If there is one finding in the psychological literature that calls for the most urgency attentionI think this is the case: social relationships are our most powerful psychological currency; It is the key to our mental health. There is no “I” in the “Self”. “Ego” is always present in “society”.

Humans are social Before they were anything else. Human interaction shapes our psychological landscape more than any other factor. As I claim in my new country bookfrom which this post is adapted, psychological research has converged to support this conclusion. Social connection is the strongest predictor of well-being and life satisfaction, and connectedness is more than just connection. Social connection creates well-being. Social isolationOn the contrary, it was Convincingly It is associated with a higher risk of death from all causes, We go With other well-established risk factors for mortality, Such as smoking or alcoholism.

In 2017, psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad of Brigham Young University and colleagues summarized the literature on the effects of social connectedness on prosocial behavior. conclude that “(a) strong body of scientific evidence suggests that being in high-quality close relationships and feeling socially connected to the people in one’s life is associated with a lower risk of all-cause mortality as well as a range of comorbid diseases” (see also here). Recently, an extensive review of research by Holt-Lunstad (2024) That’s it:

In recent decades, scientific evidence has reliably demonstrated a significant causal effect of lack of social contact on key physical and mental health indicators, such as cardiovascular disease, stroke, depression and Dementia…The strongest evidence documents the independent directional effect of social connectedness indicators on the risk of disease-related and all-cause mortality, adjusting for a robust set of relevant demographic, lifestyle, biological, and health factors.

How does social cohesion exert its influence? One path of influence works through its effects on pressure. It is known that chronic stress impairs immune function and increases… ignition Cardiovascular risks and undermining them He sleeps. Social connectedness reduces stress. Connectedness may also influence the functioning of genetic health risks. For example, research It has shown to be of high quality marriage Prevents activity associated with mental health risks Genes.

Indirect effects are also likely, since social isolation affects not only our physiology but also our behavioral decisions. Whether we smoke, exercise, or keep doctor’s appointments depends largely on what others around us — our friends, family, and intimate partners — are doing (or want us to do). If your husband insists on examining you, you are more likely to do so. Attempts to improve healthy habits are more likely to succeed if peer support is available. If all your friends Quit smokingyou likely will too. The absence of strong social connections makes us more vulnerable exhibition To settle into unhealthy habits, such as poor people Diet And low physical activity.

Relationships are the main determinant of our path in life from the beginning, on both the micro and macro levels. As children, we depend on others to care for us; Our ability to deduce Caregiving Therefore, the behaviors of others are programmed into our system. Early relationships will provide a model To understand ourselves, evaluate others, and see the world. Later, we have match Relationships and community of which we are an integral part will further shape our values, tastes, identityAnd opportunities. Romantic pair bonds in adulthood provide another layer of influence. quality Pair bonding He was linked To lower levels of psychological distress and increased well-being.

For humans, the path to health is relational. to treatIt is also essentially a relational process. Contrary to popular belief (and popular media portrayal), people generally do not come to therapy for advice. Advice is a dime a dozen on Google, or ChatGPT, and some are good. Instead, as Carl Rogers noted, people come to therapy to have an experience. The active therapeutic element in the therapy experience is human connection at its core. The best predictor of success in therapy is the client’s therapist relationshipAn indicator of the level of trust and reciprocity in interaction.

The therapeutic attachment is unique among our other relationships in that it is non-judgmental, accepting, and mindful. Clients are viewed with compassion and respect, and are provided a safe space in which they can acknowledge difficult truths hitherto denied, confront persistent fears, and reignite extinguished hope. Moreover, when clients address a problem in therapy, they are in effect placing it under the light of someone else’s charitable concern. Among people, this light is often the best mental cleanser.

It turns out that this effect is not limited to the boundaries of the treatment room. For example, A 2020 He studies Psychologist Carmel Choi (2020) and colleagues examined causal factors for depression in a population-based sample of more than 100,000 people. The authors first identified associations between multiple modifiable lifestyle factors (eg, exercise, sleep, media use, diet, social support, etc.) and depression. They then used an analytical technique called Mendelian randomization to find causal relationships between lifestyle factors and depression and compare the strength of their influence. The strongest causal factor affecting depression was “trust in others,” which has been shown to be a strong factor preventive factor.

It turns out that in humans, secret loses much of its ability to paralyze and poison us internally when we willingly share it with others who can echo, accept, understand, and understand our experience. As we discuss difficult matters, we become less alone, less uncertain about ourselves, and therefore less fragile. We show and build our strength when we acknowledge and share our weaknesses.

Life is a burden, emotional and otherwise, and it turns out that sharing the burden alleviates it.