Five ways that your partner can help you with calm

The loss of your nerves can leave you when something explains you, after things ripen, embarrassing, shame, and perhaps in trouble with the people you care more than others.

Perhaps you are in a small and unofficial gathering when one of the other guests pour a drink throughout your new clothes. I swear that this was intended, although the perpetrator’s dominant apologies would make it look otherwise. You flow without any factors, you accuse this person of trying to destroy your evening deliberately, not to mention your clothes. Everyone stares at you not believing that you may be available. You may never enhance the respect or emotion of some of those who have seen a disaster.

While you play the drama, your partner asks you to stop screaming, but to no avail. Your partner did not realize at a later time, and the whole thing was an unfortunate accident. Why did you not stop yourself before the outbreak of the situation?

Advantages to organize personal feelings

The ability to resort to others to help calm may be an effective way to prevent catastrophic consequences for losing your calm. While at the present time, you may not be able to do so, there can be real advantages to allow yourself to listen to wise Advice from someone close to you. The question is, will you be open to this advice even if it is presented?

People differ in their willingness to allow others to have an internal emotional disorder. According to the University of Connecticut Maria Show and his colleagues (2025), the quality of personal relationships Emotional organization It is an important process for achieving emotional stability. In normal emotional organization, you can create your inner handrail. In the emotional organization between people, authors can “close others or social supporters … enhance positive or negative feelings”, the authors note.

This “external” type is transmitted from emotional organization between people to others the ability to interfere in your internal escalation of negative emotions. Think about returning to what your parents might do for you childhood When you distort your attention or like it anger Fool your brain when another child canceled and broken your favorite game. Ideally, they found a way to recognize your emotions as well.

Five Passion Organization Strategies

To take advantage of these operations in adults, Connecticut University has developed my external authors Passion The organization’s questionnaire, which they tested across four large samples online. The scale itself was directed around the times of distress, when people could benefit more than the intervention of someone close to them.

As verification of verification, the authors also evaluated it Social isolationand attached Style (safe opposite anxiety Or avoid), and the tendency to think about yourself in terms of your relationship with others close to you (“If a person strikes someone close to me, I feel harm too”). Participants in relationships also answered commitment to questions about contentment and commitment. One of the important measures regarding the concept of external emotional organization was a measure of assessing difficulties in organizing emotion, including troubles in organizing impulses and emotional clarity.

After reducing the data, these are the five measures that must appear in the questionnaire with sample elements. Each indicates how to help the partner deal with it pressure:

Problem solution, re -evaluation

He thinks about the ways I can change the situation.

It helps me think differently about the things that led to what I feel.

It helps me know the steps I can take to solve the problem.

revocation

He tells me that I am exaggerating his reaction.

It communicates to me that my feelings are meaningless.

Let me know that I need to deal with what I feel myself.

sympathy

I feel the same things I feel today.

He puts himself in my shoes.

You can see things in my view.

to avoid

He stays away from me for a short period.

It focuses only on the negative aspects of the current situation.

It does not help me change the way I feel about the situation.

Distraction, soothing

It distracts me with something fun or interesting.

He does something for me.

He tries to release me by reminding me of my points.

As you can see, the factors of avoiding and nullification will do reverse From helping a person’s partner in calm, against the remaining three, all of which will have a positive effect.

The results of theoretical predictions related to how the questionnaire is linked to the variables of other couple, which prompted the authors to conclude that these organizational operations between people have important links with personal and psychological performance. “

Emotion organizing to work for you

The importance of these three positive and negative strategies to help the partners feel satisfied with the couple’s performance is the value of trying to implement them in your own relationship. The questionnaire also provides a useful framework for an explicit and open discussion with your partner, preferably at the heat of the moment that followed after a period of great marriage. Before doing this, ask yourself who will help you more. Because all the five measures are related to theoretical ways to the changes in the relationship (confidence, rapprochement, IntimacyThere is no single method that stands out as the “best” in general.

However, couples may have a specific history and individual attributes that lead some strategies to adopt others. You may like to distract your attention when you are upset, or your partner may be good when making you laugh. This may seem the best starting point so that you can work through the remaining strategies.

To summarizeCouples can help themselves in difficult times. When these difficult times erupt at the present time, knowing how to restore balance can be an important way to build permanent and satisfactory relationships.