Don’t believe the hype or the haters

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus warned, “If someone tells you that someone speaks ill of you, do not apologize for what was said about you, but say: He does not know my other faults, otherwise he would not have mentioned only these.”

the wisdom Here it is not about self-deprecation, but about embracing something Davis et al. (2011) It is referred to as the “correct view of oneself.” When we clearly understand our strengths and weaknesses, we gain a better understanding of the value we bring to our environment as well as where we need additional support. In theory, when we realize this, neither flattery nor insult should have the power to distort our self-worth. However, many of us ride the train of praise, achievement, criticism, and failure, feeling very upset.

Psychological research on humility supports the wisdom of Epictetus. Humility is not about thinking less of yourself, but about thinking about yourself accurately, Acknowledging strengths and limitations without exaggeration (Davis et al., 2011; Tajny, 2011). Humble individuals exhibit stability Self-concept Who resists the emotional highs of praise and the lows of criticism. they Self esteem Safe because it is based on reality rather than the perceptions of others.

Try this humble habit:

It’s ironic that we often believe both our own hype and our haters, but a more humbling habit is to mitigate both extremes by adopting the “just right” view of oneself.

When someone compliments you or when you achieve something great, remind yourself, “There may be truth here, but it’s one data point, and it doesn’t reflect everything about me.”

When someone criticizes you or you fail at something, remind yourself, “There may be truth here, but it’s one data point, and it doesn’t reflect everything about me.”

Seeing ourselves more clearly frees us from the vagaries of vanity and vanity shameAnd plants our feet on more solid and humble ground.