Could you have late life syndrome?

As a psychologist interested in challenges throughout the life cycle, I have had the pleasure of working with those who are just beginning their life journey and those at the end. It is not surprising that many people tend to feel regret at the end of their lives. After all, it’s hard to say goodbye Objectives It was left incomplete dreams Not achieved. Most regrets, according to end-of-life interviews, tend to be related to things not done versus things done in life, even if the latter didn’t work out.

Armed with this knowledge, I work with my younger adult patients to help them define their goals more clearly and remove psychological barriers to their functioning. before They turn to regret. For some patients, it feels as if they are living their lives “on hold.” A mysterious phenomenon may help explain why. LDS (or Life Deferred Syndrome) is not a mental health diagnosis or disorder. Rather, it is a way of living in which the individual’s present is sacrificed at the expense of the future happiness It may never happen. This is different from delaying gratification, such as delaying spending in order to save for a house. In this case, the goal is clear, and the outcome has a reasonable chance of occurring with proper planning. With life deferred syndrome, the reward never comes.

The following questions may help you understand this phenomenon. If you’re struggling with this, these suggestions may help you take action to recognize and overcome it.

Why do people delay life?

There are many answers to this, including simple procrastination; unrealistic life expectations; He is afraid of failure; Or struggles about being more successful than peers or parents. When I see this in my office, it often seems logical at first. Perhaps it is the young woman who is delaying the relationship until its due date Professional life It was established. Or perhaps it is a couple who is considering moving to another state For years. As time passes, it becomes clear that it is less about planning for the future and more about the psychological conflicts surrounding it.

Ways to overcome life delay syndrome

Realizing that you may be putting off making important life decisions is a good start. It’s important to be honest with yourself. Ask trusted friends and family members how they feel about you decision making practical. They may see you more clearly than you see yourself sometimes. During this process, it is important to be true to your values ​​because others will have their own opinion about how you should live your life. The goal is not to look for external validation (or invalidation), but rather to stay firmly on your path while also moving forward.

If not now, when?

After taking an honest inventory of your life goals and the progress you’ve made, it’s time to take action. Small steps are good. In fact, they may feel less threatened and impulsive. The key here is progress, not perfection. Progress can be messy or scary at first, and in a way, that’s the point. In the end, none of us achieve a perfect life, and regret will inevitably be a part of it. Remember: time is rarely right or wrong. It’s just a matter of whether you are ready to make the most of your current situation and live your life now.

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