Company value, clear number

I’ve never been good at saying no. My default response to invitations, favors, and requests of any kind is “Absolutely!” “definitely!” Or the most self-deprecating of all, “I can’t wait!” I’ll agree to lunch when I’m drowning in deadlines. I’ll volunteer when I’m really exhausted. Then I spend the next week rearranging my life to accommodate A Yes I didn’t mean to.

On my podcast Fifty words for snowmy colleague Emily June Garcés and I embark on what we call a linguistic expedition toward brave new words. Every week we explore expressions from around the world that don’t quite translate into English, words that capture subtle shades of the human experience that our language often misses. In our circle“Russian reflection” We spoke with a native Russian speaker from St. Petersburg, Masha Lichtenberg, who introduced us to one of these missing pieces: the phrase he thought (Not real).

in Russian, and I mean yes and nyet I mean, no, together he thought Literally translated as Yes No. But what it really means is something closer to it A confirmed and non-negotiable number. It’s not a temporary “maybe not” or “no thank you.” It’s a “don’t ask me again” no. A Put your glass on the table and say we’re done here no.

Russians tend to be brief, Masha explained. “We don’t say yes please or no thank you,” she said. “It’s yes or no, simple and straightforward.” The difference between nyet and he thought It lies in the tone. The latter is what you use when someone doesn’t receive the message. It is a firm, frost-resistant, clear and final rejection and a strange liberation.

Listening to it, I realized how usable this word is in English. We have hundreds of ways to soften our rejection: “I wish I could,” “Maybe another time,” “Let me check my schedule.” We back up our disapproval with emojis and exclamation marks, terrified of being seen as rude. But all this cushioning creates confusion, not kindness. It keeps the conversation open when we actually mean to close it.

When I asked Masha why Russians would need such strong negativity, she said something that surprised me. “We are not negative people, but our language has been hardened by history,” she said. “It makes you feel better when you are direct.” There was something healthy about that honesty, a verbal immune system that protected against it Passive aggressive infection.

Maybe this is why he thought It struck such a chord. He embodies what psychologists call… My confirmation communication, Balance between negativity and aggression. It is clarity that allows you to set border without apology. And it is the boundaries themselves that make true connection possible. When everything is yes, nothing is.

A firm refusal can actually be an act of respect for yourself, your time, and even for the person you’re rejecting. Maybe the disruptor is wasting everyone’s energy. Clear refusal is clean, effective and compassionate.

So I try to do my job he thoughtLong boots, wrapped scarf, facing the wind. I’m not angry, I’m just done. Because sometimes the kindest thing we can say to others and to ourselves is no.