Bipolar to Buddha: The Practice That Changed My Life

One day, I’m going to move to Southern California and become a Buddhist! As those words hung in the air, I was overcome with the desire to take them back, but it was too late.

My bold declaration left my graduate school classmate, Nicole, with a look that was hard to read at first, but I deduced that she was about to alert the authorities, and that they were coming to take me to… Psychological The hospital – a place that was unfortunately all too familiar to me. After 12 hospitalizations, W bipolar Diagnosis, I was always on high alert. I had to be.

And yet there I was, having put enough of the pieces of my life together to go to Columbia University and get my master’s degree there. education. Despite the major Imposter syndromeI was doing well in my classes. But I certainly wasn’t confident that this would last, and I was certain that the “other shoe” was about to drop.

What happened next was not only amazing, but life-changing. She braced herself for Nicole’s response, and suddenly her stunned look transformed into a huge smile. “I’m from Southern California and I’m a Buddhist, and there’s a meeting tonight and you need to come!”

I took this as a sign from the universe, and decided to go, and while that meeting was nice, they were only talking about world peace, which seemed important, but to be honest it had little impact for me at the time. I was just trying to deal with everyday things. I had no idea how this meeting would ultimately change my life.

Fast forward 20 years, and I am not only practicing Buddhism, I have found it Recovering from mental health symptoms. This means that for the past 15 years, I have had no symptoms of the disease mania, depressionor psychosis Which completely destroyed my life.

It is true that I have used many tools to recover, including… to treat and medicinebut I have always been in therapy, and have been taking the same medications since before I began my journey with Buddhism. The only thing that changed was that I began the Buddhist practice of repeatedly chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, a Sanskrit term that means, loosely translated, “I pledge my devotion to the mystical law of cause and effect through sound.”

Here are some of the reasons my practice of Nichiren Buddhism has helped me not only recover from bipolar disorder, but stay that way for the past decade and a half.

Uncerebral chanting: When I first started chanting,Executive functioning“It was very weak. Because of the psychosis I had been suffering from for years, I could barely use an ATM card, because there were too many steps. This is just one of many examples. This is a common phenomenon for people with psychosis. But one of the first things I noticed when I started chanting was that my driving, which is another thing I was struggling with because of the psychosis, improved a lot. Slowly, my mind became less preoccupied, and I was able to function At a higher level than the pre-psychotic stage. This included not only graduating from grad school with impressive grades, but also simpler things like navigating New York City’s complex subway system. Although there are no brain scans to prove this, researchers like Lisa Miller have confirmed it Spirituality It changes the neural pathways in the brain.
Feeling supported by the community: The organization I am interning with is easily one of the most diverse and supportive organizations I have ever been a part of. This is not a “sales pitch”, just my experience. We practice in small groups in people’s homes, where people of all races, ages, socioeconomic statuses, etc., come together to achieve one goal: world peace by helping individuals become happy. Between meetings, leaders visit members at their homes to chant with them and support them. There is a monthly ‘Member Welfare Meeting’, where leaders discuss how members are doing and who needs support. Having this type of community has been powerful in my life. In an age of separation and isolation, it’s no mystery why: people who are connected are happier and healthier, and my Buddhist organization creates great opportunities for that, meeting people where they are, encouraging and supporting them every step along the way. I always say that when you connect with a group of people who are organizing for world peace, it’s bound to be a great group.
Transform my life philosophy: Before I came to Buddhism, I was really a “negative Nancy.” I thought I was the victim in life, and that it was everyone’s fault except my own. My philosophy in life was “Why me?” However, I quickly learned that this perspective is not consistent with Buddhism. The belief is that obstacles are opportunities to grow and move toward a Buddha’s highest state of life (which is similar to enlightenment). A problem-free life does not inspire one to chant and chant, and chanting is what changes the state of one’s life. In Buddhism, we are taught to chant to turn “poison into medicine.” For me, this looks like taking my bipolar experience and using it to help others, through peer life Training Practice and by training mental health professionals in the idea that mental health recovery occurs.
My build Self esteem: I’m not a naturally confident person. I think I was born with low self-esteem. Add Stigma Living with a major mental illness in the past is a formula for insecurity. However, the primary purpose of my Buddhist practice is to become awakened to the idea that I am a Buddha, and so is everyone else. In other words, we all have a “spark of divinity” within us. The original Buddha attained enlightenment under the Bodhi Tree when he attained this state of consciousness. It probably took me about 15 years to realize that I had to strive to believe this about myself, and another three years to believe it—not just intellectually, but spiritually as well. However, once I did that, my self-esteem really started to rise. While continuing to believe this is a daily practice, these are my most important prayers, because when I believe that I am a Buddha I am truly happy, and when I believe that you are a Buddha, I treat you with the utmost respect. Thus world peace spreads.

When I started chanting 20 years ago, I had no idea my life would develop this way. I have transformed and continue to transform every area of my life – of my life Professional lifeFor my love life, for my closest relationships, for my money, for my mental health. What about Southern California? I still need Something To repeat, right?