Will the real parents please stand please?

Participated in the authorship of Robert Betten and Adam a. Rogers, PhD

The new trend has swept the nation: “Cute Parents and motherhood“Whether it is through Social mediaMommy blogs, or morning shows, young families seeking to obtain guidelines about raising children facing the popular media that claim to enhance kindness and kind mother as a more balanced approach in paternity and motherhood.

A Tiktok user posted a ball about how to perform gentle paternity and motherhood in two steps: “First, I organize myself, (then I) check the feelings (my child).”

The climb of paternity and kindness: What is this, really?

The term “nice paternity and motherhood” was popular by the author Sarah Okwell Smith in a book published in 2015.¹ According to the book, the “kind paternity and maternity” is mainly synonymous with reliable paternity and motherhood, which is a good way of paternity and motherhood confirms three main principles:

1. Parents’ response to the child’s needs
2. Respecting the child’s feelings and views
3. Adherence border And the appropriate expectations from the development point of view

Often it contradicts more authoritarian methods, the reliable paternity and motherhood represents a sweet spot where the appropriate rules and borders are achieved at home through parental warmth and respect for their children’s views. Studies constantly show that reliable paternity and maternity enhances a wealth of social, emotional and academic benefits for children with different backgrounds.²

In the popular media, especially social media, a spread of content appeared to be designed to design this principle “gentle parenting and motherhood.” However, the second look reveals a more deformed version of the well -established ideal. Is “nice paternity and motherhood” teaching the principles of truly reliable paternity and motherhood? Or are they paying something else?

Consider the second what you think when you hear the phrase “pale and kind mother.” You may have thought about other terms, such as paternity and fine motherhood. Or maybe you have no idea. If so, you are not alone.

Even the established press is constantly struggling with the advanced concept. Take, for example, an article from New Yorker, Who emphasized, “Parents and gentle maternity represent a departure from a gradual approach that is still dominant known as reliable paternity and motherhood …” The difference explains by claiming that “trusted fathers may use the deadline and floors … which their gentle counterparts do not encourage.”³

Apparently, even the most amazing research principles cannot be filtered through social media algorithms and influential societies and are still completely sound. It is not surprising that the concept of paternity and gentle motherhood has been drifted – the match in some circles – from the original and meaningful meaning. Sarah Okwell Smith expressed her concerns about these four years after the publication of her book, saying: “I think many people who think they are practicing kindness and gentle motherhood are actually very lenient.” She regretted her, “It frustrates me when people involve the kindness and kindness … gentle does not mean toxins.”⁴

Conditions without limits

Even scientists are trying to reach the bottom of this phenomenon. In a recently published study that explores the meaning of “gentle parenting and motherhood” among my father today, Dr. Alice Davidson and Dr. Annie Bezala requested that 100 parents describe the style of paternity and motherhood using attributes.⁵ Parents who have known as the “chicken parents” described paternity and motherhood like attributes such as gentle, affectionate, conscious, and deliberate.

Then they asked the parents who embraced “nice paternity and motherhood” describing how they The parents were. According to Dr. Davidson, Long parents used “less and simpler words to describe their parents”, saying they were a reaction or confrontation. This was true even for the participants who showed them an abundance of warmth and love in paternity and motherhood.

These results indicate that excessive parents may focus as well on the sensitive aspects and care of their parenting approach as much as they resolve the strict approach and discipline of their parents. One wonders if it may be the first because of the latter?

It seems that many anecdotal experiences and even research supports this idea that “gentle paternity and motherhood” is often wrong because of the permissible paternity and motherhood, which is an ideal pattern for a child’s growth.

Parents and motherhood are lenients are also the pattern of paternity and motherhood well. It includes warmth and Openness For children’s ideas and feelings, but lacks the borders, discipline and reasonable expectations. The result is that children usually end up in control. Studies have shown that the presence of clear limits and consistent discipline provides a structure that helps children learn self -regulation. Without these components, children can develop self -regulation, which can lead to several unwanted features and behaviors.

When you notice the effects of the kindness and kindness that emphasizes the warmth and response in the name of “” Name “Self -regulation“But their neglect to support the appropriate borders or discipline, may lose half of the equation. The beauty of the reliable mother and motherhood lies in its ability to balance reasonable expectations with the deep respect of the child.

But why is this important?

A Reddit user shared a story about their sister, who, after watching several Tiktok videos, decided to become a “gentle parent”. The user continues that his sister “describes her style as nice … but she is really just leniency … she allows her children to stay away from everything, and children know this. There is never any specialty, and children are manipulating out of the rare penalties trying to enforce her.”

Ironically, the user has continued to determine the problem of kindness and kind mother by saying: “Children must be respected, but they also need rules and limits.” In presenting this example, the user accidentally provides an ideal definition of what was assumed to be a gentle paternity and motherhood in the original – paternity and motherhood.

While many of these examples are anecdotal, they are prevalent enough because young parents take them seriously and may change the way they raise their children. We agree with one of the commentators who responded to the aforementioned commentator New Yorker An article, saying: “The name – paternity and motherhood – it cannot be the best because it really highlights the love part without giving any hint that the limit part is equally important.”

At the end of the day, it does not seem that the videos “Parents and gentle motherhood” do not seem to go anywhere any time soon. So, the next time you pass through Tiktok and stumble in some of the pleasant advice and maternity, think about asking the next question to yourself: “Does this video help me to know how to implement a consistent structure in my home in a nice and respectful way for my child?”

If not, continue to scroll.