Explore teenage defiance with two rock ‘n’ rollers

insecure.

This is the word I would choose to best express the experience of growing up as a teenager. A description gleaned from 56 years of working with youth as a coach, psychologist, teacher, mentor, playground supervisor, camp counselor, etc.

Please don’t do my age math on that!

What is the cause of insecurity? A combination of things, including looking for identitySocializing with peers and aging. These and other contributing factors can be intertwined, confusing, and confusing anxiety– Stimulate the struggle of teens, including young athletes, musicians and other artists.

How they respond to this confusion can lead either to a life full of meaningful fulfillment or a life full of chaotic disorientation, dysfunction, and ultimately disillusionment.

This two-part series explores the existential dilemma of insecurity experienced by young people, including the perspectives of two people who have overcome this challenge and gone on to achieve successful and well-known music careers.

We’re talking here about John Peel, frontman and founding member of Widespread Panic, and Lee Mars, original member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame group Nine Inch Nails and architect of the widely acclaimed mixtapes, including the film’s original score. School of rock.

A little context

I have known Bill and Mars since they were children, growing up in Shaker Heights, Ohio, a suburb of Cleveland. I was John’s summer camp counselor in 1971 and 1972 when he was in fifth and sixth grade. Lee attended Byron Junior High School, a school where she worked from 1978 to 1983.

Please understand that neither John nor Lee were under my psychiatric care, and that I claim no credit for their success. I hope I have contributed a little to their lives, but their accomplishments are their own.

I had the opportunity to observe both closely during their youth. While Belle and Mars were well-liked and respected by their peers, they seemed a bit reserved when around other children. This was something I noticed in many other teens I know who were great achievers.

At the time, I attributed their reserved behavior to shame.

I was wrong.

The real reason

They were true to themselves, and did not compromise values ​​and interests for the purpose of trying to fit in with their peers, as many other teenagers do.

Recent reflection on my time and experience with many young people growing up has led me to understand that it wasn’t shyness at all. She was virtuous wisdomwhich is unusual for many of their peers, which gave them some disdain and distance from obsessiveness. attention And the popularity of researching the actions of other children.

John Waldron, president of Goldman Sachs, referred to this interest and approval-seeking behavior among young people (and adults) as the “peacock phenomenon” in a previous article I wrote. Waldron is another successful person I observed when he was growing up who showed similar reserved qualities to Mars, Bill, and others I have known and discussed in other posts.

Children who obsessively search for fame and attention often do things just to gain the approval of their peers. They will listen to music because it is what the popular kids like. Attention seekers will post photos of themselves wearing sports team gear or other fashionable clothing, and post sports-specific videos of themselves on Social mediaAll for the purpose of impressing their peers.

Other young people fall prey to searching for attention and identity by doing things that go against tradition such as body piercing, tattoos, hair styling, etc.

What do all of this have in common?

Superficial on the surface level, lacking the depth of the real personality. Meaningless things kids do in pursuit of attention and popularity. Unfortunately, it can also be a search for identity and how to define themselves as human beings. It is a short-term salve for their insecure thoughts and feelings. Temporary comfort and satisfaction, derived from social approval and belonging. It’s equivalent to the depth of a Halloween mask. As I say to young people, “You are more than just athleteAnd the team gear you wear, the music you listen to, the sports videos you post, your social media personality, your hairstyle, etc.”

All of this can become a lifelong pursuit, compromising meaningful accomplishments and ultimate lifelong satisfaction. They trade long-term success for short-term escape from the unpleasant thoughts and feelings associated with teenage insecurities.

This search for comfort applies to some of the riskier behaviors that teens routinely engage in just to be part of the crowd. Things like vaping, Alcohol And drug consumption, and sexual Exploitation is unhealthy, destructive and potentially life-threatening.

Bell and Mars were not about seeking popularity and letting the culture of their peers define them and their writing. They were too busy striving for things that had deep meaning to them. The same is true of other young people I have known who have lived very successful lives.

The next part of this two-part series will dive into the perspectives of Bill and Mars in their younger days. Neither of them allowed their teenage insecurities to keep them away from what was important to them, including their passion for music and other endeavors.

Stay tuned for a thought-provoking dive into the thoughts and visions generated by a pair of music celebrities.