Freedom from death: Name the feeling

This is the second part of the Freedom from Doom series. Read Part 1 here.

Co-written by Alicia del Prado and Betty Maisel

Back in 2011, Apple’s iPhone ads plastered billboards with glossy images of people traveling and celebrating important milestones. The message was tempting: This device is your ticket to belonging and Intimacy.

In many ways, those ads weren’t wrong. Smartphones have made it easier to FaceTime across continents and capture memories, but they have also implanted a hidden belief: that closeness itself lives within the device.

When downgrading seems liberating and difficult

In the beginning, reducing your workload can bring tremendous relief. Colors sharpen, conversations deepen, creativity He comes back.

But besides convenience, there can also be an attraction…a desire to swipe in your most vulnerable places: late at night, with loved ones, even at traffic lights. Sometimes you may find that you are able to resist. Other times, you may re-download apps and overeat.

addicted Psychology helps explain why. Research shows that when people try to quit substances, they often… Relapse Several times, and each return tends to be heavier.

The same brain circuits are at play with our phones. Every pass holds the chance for something new, and that’s what makes the unpredictability Dopamine Very strong rings.

When science lags behind culture

Many researchers avoid calling smartphone overuse addictive, preferring softer terms like “problematic use.” But history shows that this hesitation is not new. Cocaine was once sold at Coca-Cola as harmless until culture labeled it addictive and science discovered it. Culture moves first; Follow up on research and policies.

Not everyone is targeted equally. It is the communities that already bear the heaviest burdens, including communities of color, that are being harmed the most aggressively marketing. If you are shock Survivors living with chronic pressureOr part of a community that overcomes inequality, you are exactly the customer Social media Technological industries aim to. This targeting is by design, not a personal failure.

That’s why telling the truth about our experience is important. Naming the attraction, sharing the struggle, acknowledging the costs—all of it tears apart the silence. Even something as small as passing this post on to a friend helps change the culture. Together, we can rewrite the narrative so that research and policy can catch up with what we already know: this is not just “problematic use.” It is a global mental health problem that has ripple effects on our bodies, our families and our communities.

As culture shifts collectively, change also begins in the smallest of places: within us. This is where the toolkit continues.

Step 2: Naming our feelings

Awareness is powerful, but it’s just the beginning. The second step is about naming the feelings that cause us to scroll. (And if you’re wondering about step 1, it was “Naming the problem“Part one of this series.)

neurology Labeling emotions is shown to calm the brain’s alarm system and activate areas that help us organize and choose more intentionally. Naming what we feel creates a pause between desire and action, a small but crucial opening in which change can occur.

Tools to try

• Wheel of emotions: Go beyond “good” or “bad” to precise words. You may find it useful Passion wheels connected.
• Sign in with hand on chest: Notice sensations such as tightness or heaviness and associate them with emotions. For example, while you’re scrolling through the news, you may feel your shoulders tense and your chest heaviness—signaling it anxiety Or sadness.
• Small daily bursts: Write down a line or two about what just happened and how you feel.

Like any skill, this gets easier with practice. The more often we stop to name our feelings, the more likely we are to pick up on triggers and become more intentional in our choices.

Step 3: Calm down instead of scrolling

Once you name the feeling, step 3 is to calm down Passion directly. Negative emotions may indicate unmet needs, for example: Anger It refers to justice, sadness to comfort, and anxiety to security. That’s why order is important: first name the feeling, then soothe it, then ask what it signals, and finally meet that need—whether through comfort, connection, or reassurance.

• One tool to calm the feeling:

Play the tape forward: Imagine how you would feel afterwards if you gave up. Example: It’s midnight and you want to scroll. You imagine tomorrow morning—regretful and exhausted—and that glimpse helps you choose differently, maybe write down a daily line or text a friend for tomorrow instead.

• One tool to get rid of desire:

Urgent browsing: Visualize desire like a wave – rising, peaking, and falling. Instead of fighting it, breathe and watch it pass. Example: feel Lonely At night and access your phone. Instead of scrolling, you can ride the wave for a few minutes until the intensity fades, and then get to what you really need — sleep or connection.

These tools are not about perfection. It’s about creating small spaces of freedom—moments where we pause and respond with intention rather than coercion.

Experiment to try

This week, try one tool from each step. Next, consider: Did naming your feelings change the intensity of the desire? Has navigating incentives changed your sense of control? The goal is not success or failure, it is practice. Every attempt strengthens the muscle of awareness and choice.

Looking forward

The first step was to name the problem over and over again. Steps 2 and 3 are about developing emotional identity and calming the feelings that fuel our scrolling. In Part Three of this series, we’ll explore the final steps of the toolkit: reshaping your environment and routine, and building a new life. If the glossy ads promise that connection lives inside the device, the final steps are about restoring connection in the world outside it.

Therapist Betty Maisel specializes in addicted, shockneurological difference, and worked in senior mental health community hospitals educationand private practice.