Your obsessive pursuits will not cure your shyness

Obsessions are a veil of disturbing and difficult realities, both personal and existential. Those who suffer from obsession often cannot explain why they love what they are obsessed with or how having and holding on to it will make them happy. Obsession manifests itself as a distraction in the pursuit of fame, romance, and financial success. This is not these Objectives are inherently bad (and they’re not inherently good either); It’s those who know as Perfection Follow them to add belt notches. Basically, it turns out they don’t mean much to them.

It is true that perfectionists suffer from black and white thinking, and therefore devalue anything they own after idealizing it. But, there is something deeper here. Perfectionists tend to treat most things as means to an end. For example, approaching a stranger at a party implies the possibility of obtaining approval, which in turn may increase the person’s approval Self esteem. Whether or not a stranger is compatible is not a major concern. A long time ago Obsessive-compulsive disorder Species are preoccupied with their image, and rejection is generally devastating. So, the fact that they might not be a fan of the person rejecting them seems irrelevant.

Here, the obsessive pursuit of passion hides oneself shameFeeling unwanted and unloved. The pursued individual is then thrust into the role of a dam, a gentle object meant to protect the perfectionist from the rising tide. Existential psychotherapist Irvin Yalom asked a patient: “What are people for?” But we can expand his question to ask: “What makes something, whether a relationship or a personal goal, worth pursuing?” Is their goal merely to maintain a feeling of emotional security or to make you love yourself? Perfectionists, in part, devalue what they have because a single accomplishment, whatever it may be, cannot indicate anything meaningful about a person’s overall identity (unless it can somehow, every second, effectively remind you that you are special, without you, at some point, growing boring) And because the process of achievement in itself is hardly full of joy.

Obsessives are always waiting – waiting for something to prove their importance, waiting for something to relieve them of the burden, waiting for something to make them stop obsessing. But in reality, in order to stop obsessing, a perfectionist will need to address a host of issues underlying their persistence. The outside world can do little to fix your sense of self; It cannot provide you with objective meaning (it only makes you feel that you “should” be striving for something); I can’t tell you what happiness Made for you; Nor can it help you learn how to bear the awareness of your own mortality. In essence, mania is a paradox, a combination of over-independence and over-independence Interdependence– The perfectionist individually seeks (in both senses of the term, alone and to the exclusion of other goals) a life in which they are cared for, a life filled with material and philosophical supplies.

In this pursuit, the perfectionist fails to ask whether there are alternatives that could make him happy, especially those that are more mundane and less impactful. The trite question we ask young people is: “What would you do if you had a million dollars?” We can tailor this to the perfectionist, asking, “What would you do if you had your own utopia?” Would you still seek the approval of strangers who may not share your interests, interests, or values? Will you continue to be preoccupied with your social status? Will you carry out your usual activities?

Learning to tolerate shame can seem like a contradiction, because we often implore our patients to deal with their problems head-on. But the best way to address shame and existential dread is to immerse oneself in one’s life and think less about its meaning. Trying different, even challenging, activities can help you discover what you love doing most. Interacting with different people can help you discover the ones you like communicating with the most. Instead of the basic question being, “What does this say about me?” You can ask yourself: “What makes me feel this way at this moment?” Does what you do make you excited and curious? Would you continue to participate if the activity wasn’t helpful, leading to something better? What would you do if you accepted that there is no permanent solution to your shyness? He is afraid?

Despite providing an extraordinary amount of hope, obsessions tend to lead to a dead end, even if one achieves everything they wanted. Existential philosopher Søren Kierkegaard summed up this truth when he wrote: “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” In the end, all we have are our experiences and the emotions they help trigger. But the key is that we have to choose them actively, without expecting that they will somehow solve all our problems.