Balance of the truth of the truth with diplomacy Psychology today

In A modern episode of podcast for difficult skillsI have been dug in the dual brand of many leaders who move in the workplace policy Dynamics: speaking and risking the “very aggressive” brand; Return from the bottom and risk to be classified “very soft”. As leaders, we are expected to talk and be open and healthy, but as leaders of women, we often feel pressure to be relationship and diplomacy so that they do not “misbehave” or come as a “threat.”

The good news is that the balance between the truth of the truth with diplomacy is a “soft” skill. command Gravitas, skilled communication, and changing expectations.

Challenge: The truth versus diplomacy

Early from my country Professional lifeI was a basis for the truth: honest and direct, but without understanding the effect of my words or sometimes sympathy to understand how my words can affect others. And yes, this means that I had some unjust moments.

Later, when I developed my leadership skills, with the help of a great teacher, I became an incredibly diplomatic leader, knowing how to relieve things, not saying much, and lightly fun.

When I matured in my leadership skills, I realized that there was also a cost of these strong diplomatic skills: Over time, I was excessive indexing on feeding and calming and helping people success and losing the need to challenge unhealthy dynamics for the satisfaction of others.

Instead, I realized this:

• Diplomacy can be blessed with issues that may not be sparkling.
• It is still good to disable an unhealthy pattern.
• It is important to put a border When people benefit.
• It is an absolute necessity to refer to how long the damage is caused, and do so directly and clearly without reducing words.

This is especially important in two contradictory cases in the difference:

1. Some teams show unhealthy behaviors, such as persistent gossip after meetings, blaming others without taking personal responsibility, steam discussions, or adversity talks to pay personal business schedules.
2. Other teams offer more accurate and cidable issues that make it difficult to determine the basic dissatisfaction. Patrick Lingioni, author of the book ” The five dysfunction of a teamThis indicates that it is “industrial harmony”: a position in which a healthy discussion and the dispute are strangled Aggressive Behavior and diplomacy, all in order to avoid difficult conversations.

In both roles as a member of the team in various professional capabilities and as a consultant to develop the team, I learned the importance of defining unhealthy tensions, unhealthy interactions, and avoiding behaviors such as resistance, control and mitigating the excessive risks that can lead to accurate management and sermon Decision -making delay.

In an ideal position, we balance honesty and care. It is easy to slip to avoid when we reduce what to say. However, Listing the explicit truth without taking into account the confidence of erosion– It may fall, but it harms relationships.

So, The neutralization of harsh facts can easily lead to counterproductive results – but it can ignore the cost of leaving things without realization.

The skills needed to balance the truth with diplomacy

For fears of listening and receiving them, the following skills are required:

• self conscious
• Clarity on your values ​​and Goals For discussion
• The courage to make the truth in power
• The ability to manage or sit with discomfort
• Learn to determine the best timing and preparation for speaking
• strong Emotion organization

This is not easy to develop. But the stronger these skills, the greater the effect it can have. Here is what I was able to do as a result of improving my truth saying with diplomacy and how I helped many others do the same:

• Talk or leave professional situations when you notice unhealthy behaviors.
• It is clear that you express the problems you see and possible solutions, rather than maintaining concerns for yourself, especially when you affect many people.
• Support the people you care about in ways of balance between care with honesty.

The ability to identify unhealthy tensions, unhealthy interactions and avoiding behaviors such as resistance, control and mitigating excessive risks (for example, accurate management, decision -making delay) is a great power. These behaviors often stem from real concerns related to safety, security, change and uncertainty. Unless we call these problems in a way that can be heard, we cannot help people reset their interactive patterns.

Skills development

How can you start developing or strengthening these skills? Here are some ways:

1. He performs a structure, not Passion

Ask yourself: What is the result I want to share this? If the goal is to improve, clarity, or reform relationships – not just venting – you will continue to communicate more.

2. Separate the truth from the ruling

Adhere to facts, notes and effects. “You are not reliable” with “we missed two critical deadlines last month, which affected the customer’s relationship.”

3. Fram with respect

Diplomacy does not mean softening the reality. Meaning Framing it in a way that the other person can receive. Here are some beginners, strong sentence:

• “I want to share something that might be difficult to hear, but I think it is important to everyone who grows us.”
• “I want to be honest with you because I care about our work relationship.”
• “I was sitting with something I think it’s important to show it.”
• “I notice a separation, I would like to understand better.”
• “Can I present a perspective that may be uncomfortable but useful?”

4. Use sympathy as a bridge

Acknowledged the perspective of the other person or his potential reaction: “I imagine that this might feel frustrated to hear – I was there too.”

5. Exercise clarification

It reflects what you see, not in a deformation in a way that reveals and shares curiosity: “Here’s a pattern I noticed, and I wonder what is behind it.”

Remember that this is not a matter of delivering a polished speech – it is about Putting the truth in a conversation, Not a confrontation.

In a world that often asks women to choose between kindness and power, this arduous skill provides a third path: Clear clarity carefully arrogant. Diplomacy without the truth can hide the defect. Unfortunately, women leaders are often passed to maintain harmony and avoid direct, which may allow the unhealthy dynamics of the team to continue. But saying the truth should not burn bridges. When it is based on sympathy, purpose and tirelessness, the budget of truth, with care, can enhance confidence. Every leader benefits from this skill.